The One Man

The One Man by Allyson R.

He Loves Me

How Can I Tell?

It’s obvious

Listen to how He talks to me

He speaks of a love

That I’ve never known before

And will never know

Without Him around

His words are so genuine

I know they’re the truth

How?

I have evidence

I remember the lies that were told to me

I remember the promises spoken to me

I remember the love I thought I had

And I compare it

I compare it to His truth

I compare it to the unbroken vows

I compare it to the love I know I have

That’s how I know

He’s the one man that I can depend on

He’s the one man that has never broken my heart

He’s the one man that’s never had to explain Himself

I’ve never had to question His love for me

His actions speak volumes

Compared to the smaller things done

After one special event

I knew He was the One

With 3 nails

1 Cross

He created a 4 ever for us

And it continues daily

I mess up

I ignore Him

I don’t talk to Him for a while

But He still Loves me

It’s a love I need

It’s one I know I can depend

It will always exist

It is always present

I can’t escape it

I can’t shake it

I can’t tell Him to stop

Because He won’t

He loves me

And I love Him

He’ll always be

The One Man

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I Call My Husband Beautiful.

My favorite time of day is the night-time like most of the world. There’s something about the stillness and the time of simply pausing within yourself to reflect and rest. I love it even more because it’s the time of day I know that I have with my husband. I may see him throughout the day and for a few minutes in the morning, but at night, nothing is rushed and I am thankful because I know that he’ll be next to me. I love the moments that I look over at him and see the outline of his face as my mind fills in the rest of the image embedded in my mind and in my heart. I love when a small light shines from a phone or the button on the Wii that reveals his face to me a little more than before. It is in these moments I simply look at him and say “You are so beautiful.” Every time I do, he smiles shyly and whispers, “Thank You”.

The first few times I said it, I wondered if he thought I was weird. Heck, I wondered if I was weird. Calling him beautiful seemed weird at first because most women don’t call men beautiful, it’s normally the other way around. But for some reason, in those still, timeless moments, calling him beautiful was the perfect thing to do. It’s meaning went way beyond the outer appearance, but dealt with the inner man as well. As I look into his eyes in the still darkness, then let my gaze take in rapid shots of his face so I can internally remember and study them, Beautiful is what I think of.

When true beauty presents itself before you, uttering the words “Beautiful”, means a lot more than the outward appearance. Allowing yourself to take in everything about the object, moment, or person takes the word beautiful and sends it shooting to another level, causing that object, moments, or person to forever be a part of your life. It makes you daydream about it, realizing if there’s anything that could ever be compared to it. It makes you appreciate what lies before you. It humbles you when you realize that you didn’t have to experience or view it. Beautiful makes you take the time to appreciate what lies before you, causing you to look beyond the obvious and seek out the hidden secrets it may possess.

We’ve all said Beautiful on more than one occasion to something or someone involved in a temporary situation, that no doubt was in fact Beautiful. But those aren’t the moments that take our breath away, causing us to desire a few more moments in this place in time without interruption. That… is Beautiful.

Typing this, I’m excited to see my husband now (lol). Of course handsome, gorgeous, sexy, fine, etc., all work perfectly fine because he is indeed those things ; ) But when I call him beautiful, that word is meant to define his overall state from top to bottom, inside and out. He takes my breath away with one glance. My mind can’t help but think about him when I’m away from him, and even in his presence, I still take moments to think about the moments passed. His voice speaks to places no other man or woman can reach but Jesus. His touch reaches down into the very depths of my heart.

He is Beautiful.

My Mr.

~The Mrs.

Married Life > Promiscuous Life

As I stated on my website, I would start to discuss this a little more because it’s an area of my life I tripped up and messed up the most, but Glory to God I’ve learned so many lessons and now I want to help someone else out that may be headed in the same direction.

I use to be caught up in the “New Day, New Dude” scene (not literally lol) and I enjoyed it at times. To sit up and try to act brand new like my crazy life wasn’t fun would be a LIE. There were plenty of times I had a BALL in the club, drunk, and flirting around with guys to see who’d bite the bait. So SN: If any Christian tries to tell you that life wasn’t fun, 95% of them may be lying. I say 95% because some people force themselves to do it to only fit in for a short period of time, knowing they hate it.

Flirting around was fun. Having random cute guys come up behind you and dance with you for 3 or 4 songs and then flash a smile when you turn around to face one another and exchange numbers. It was fun. Now for me, the daring moments when you sleep with someone you haven’t known more than 24 hours was NOT fun. Even getting to the place where you slept with someone and you didn’t even for real LIKE them wasn’t fun. That “morning after” feeling where the shame kicks in and the guilt kicks in… then of course for us women, the question “What if I’m pregnant?” kicks in like an automatic response to having sex with anyone… even kissing makes us nervous! (Sounds drastic, but it’s real!) Then of course the concern if you caught something, regardless if you wore a condom or not… it just was NOT fun.

It’s not fun to sleep with someone random who you had a mini crush on for a night, then try to scrub off the scent the next morning. It’s not fun to give up the goods, thinking they’ll like you more, to only find out that they life you less or didn’t like you at all. It’s not fun to give up your body to someone who has no idea how to treat you the next day, let alone for the rest of your life.

I was getting in bed with my Mr. the other night and I just laid on his chest and EXHALED. The comfort in knowing he isn’t going anywhere made me feel amazing in those few seconds. See I’ve realized that with your spouse, you can go to the club, dance the night away, maybe even have a few drinks… but the difference is that you don’t have to CONVINCE or CON your spouse to come home with you. Honey at the end of the night, you KNOW where they’re going and when you wake up in the morning, you don’t regret ANYTHING you did. You can go home, kick off your shoes, take off your clothes, and act a FOOL, and be able to LET GO and EXHALE.

I don’t care what anyone says. When you’re just sleeping around with random people, you can never be your full self. There’s always some part in you that holds back because you never want to give it all away. You never want to fully let go and act a fool, but also get attached and be in the moment. In marriage, there are no bars, no restraints, no nothing. You can mentally, physically, and emotionally get involved with the person you’re ONE with. There will be times you’ll want to almost be their skin just so you can be so close to them. WHEW!! (LMBO)

There is nothing like the security of knowing you don’t have to scan the dance floor and find a victim so you won’t be alone that night. There’s nothing like not having to regret and repent for what you did that night. There’s nothing like real love… true love. Lust can seem like love because it’s temporarily the replacement for love…until lust reveals its true self.

To all my single folk, this post is not to tell you to stop having fun, but it is to inform you that there is something better for you out there. You don’t have to keep living your life from night to night, trying to find the “One” or whatever the next best thing is. You don’t have to keep crying yourself to sleep thinking about the shameful things you did. You don’t have to keep trying to fill that void of loneliness by empty nights of sex with someone you don’t even know and possibly might not ever know. Don’t let the movies get you confused. Sex does not always reveal love… point blank. You’re not going to make love that night and then fall in love holding each other, and then be hooked for the rest of your life.

It’s time to be free from all those empty nights and shameful feelings because they aren’t doing anything but hurting you more when it’s time to be alone… trust me, I’ve been there and it’s not fun… AT ALL.

Start to take better care of yourself and set higher standards for yourself. Having trouble? Pray about it… that’s what I did. I still messed up at times. Still had sex before marriage. It’s hard to give up and let go of… I know. But you can do it. ūüôā

~The Mrs.

The Best Kind of Intimacy

I’m going to keep it PG-13 since I know I have family and people who watched me grow up reading (lol)

The Best Kind of Intimacy I’ve ever experienced has been with my husband/best friend/ride or die… hands down.

I don’t just say this from a sexual aspect, but from an emotional and spiritual one too. See, society has trained us to think SEX when we hear intimacy… but that’s not the definition! Merriam-Webster defines it as “something of personal or private nature”, which causes me to understand that it’s something close to me. I don’t share my feelings with everyone. I don’t share my thoughts and dreams with everyone. I don’t share my body with everyone. It’s something that means a great deal to me, which causes me to be very selective in who I share it with.

Before all this, I didn’t really have intimacy. I searched for it… looked for it… tried to MAKE it… but I never had real intimacy, where I felt that I could share my whole world with this person and not be played in the end. There were numerous events where I was just sharing everything from my body, to my emotions, and even my dreams, only to be left alone and hurting in the end. Situations and relationships that have that outcome causes us to build up walls to block others out so we don’t get hurt again. I had gotten to the point that I didn’t want intimacy or a great relationship, I just wanted the sex part of intimacy… which in reality was NOT intimacy, but simply a quick pleasurable moment that gave me the feeling of intimacy, but not the fulfillment I wanted and was trying to acquire.

It feels good to be able to cry, scream, curse (sometimes… pray my strength lol), laugh, and just share every part of me with my Mr. I don’t have to hold back anymore. I don’t have to be afraid of being left alone and hurt again. So many times we give away the innermost intimate parts of ourselves to strangers or people WE¬†KNOW¬†we won’t be with for long, and then have to spend time trying to replace the pieces that were given away to these strangers we hoped would care for us.

Being married has provided the best intimacy I could have asked for. I can open up freely and truly be myself. Being married causes you to find things out about yourself you didn’t even know existed. You get to talking to your spouse and about 10min in, you’ve discovered something new about you.

Making love is also a part of intimacy as well and is 1,099, 353, 232, 241, 234 better than any random person you’ve ever given your body to. There’s nothing like give more of yourself to the person you love and plan on spending forever with. You discover more things you like and dislike and you feel free to be yourself… and let’s be real… there’s nothing like being able to get it on a consistent basis from someone consistent.. It feels good not having to “con” your way into sexual relations. Yes it sounds horrible, but we do it. We try to flirt around, send out mass texts to see who’ll take the bait we dish out. Then we spend the next morning scrubbing our skin to try and¬†get that scent off our bodies, then spend months and years trying to get it to stop playing over and over in your head, along with the guilty feelings. I know for me, I knew sex before marriage wasn’t right. So when I got involved with men, I would feel horrible the morning after, even in “committed” relationships. It feels GREAT to wake up and not feel shame and disgust, but only love and affection, and thankfully waking up next to someone and not asking ‘What did I just do?”

Spiritual intimacy between a man and a wife is something so special, sincere, and necessary. Yesterday I was discussing how I was feeling about some things dealing with God, and I just began to cry to my Mr. The pain, frustration, and anger I felt was released and I finally heard all the thoughts I had been thinking come to life. My husband took my hand and listened. When he spoke, there was nothing but words of encouragement, scripture, and a prayer over me, casting down things that were not like God and anything that hindered me. There’s nothing like feeling weak in a moment and your spouse asking “Do you want to pray?” or even checking you on a situation with the Word of God. Jesus means a lot to me, so being married to someone who feels the same passion I do for Christ means the world to me. Being able to experience the love of Christ from someone you’re married to is priceless. It’s a love we question at times because it’s so real and we are so jacked up that we can’t believe someone would love us like that. It’s a love we don’t have to change for. It’s truly unconditional.

This… is the best kind of intimacy.

~The Mrs.

Asking For Too Much?

List of Demands

On my Chronicles of a Young Wife¬†Facebook Page, someone asked the question “Is there such thing as having standards that are set too high?” A lot of women in particular ask this same question when they’re a part of the dating scene. I know I did a few times while I was a single woman. But I realized that the standards I set were really high. Now that in no way says that they cannot be met, but there’s a slim to no chance that you’ll get everything on your list of “wants”. Having high standards is NOT a bad thing because you should never lower your standards just to be “happy”, but sometimes those “standards” can get out of hand and unreasonable. They become a list of demands!

I personally made a “Man of God” list, made up of everything I wanted. He had to be between a certain height, have a certain body type, have at least 2 degrees, be a pastor/minister/prophet or something along those lines, be a prayer warrior, ¬†be a sex god, and a certain age and have good hair with a nice smile. My “Man of God” list was made up as a scorecard, where I would give him points in the areas he had achieved. It…was…ridiculous. He would’ve had to been a model/preacher/stripper/doctor… all at one time. I was asking for things that I myself did not accomplish or possess. I was asking for too much… but I was also asking out of want and not out of need. Of course I need a God-fearing man, but I also needed a man who was balanced as well, not someone who’s too Heaven bound to be any earthly good as people say. But I was creating this list out of desires of my flesh, not out of desire for what God wanted for me and already had for me.

In prayer with a friend, God revealed to her that I needed to remake my list… and when I remade it to include God in the decision process for what I needed. This time, I sat down with the bible and decided to study all of the scriptures that talked about what a husband should be to a wife. There are countless stories of some hard-core, ride or die type marriages in the bible. Though some things were jacked up, many stuck it out to the end.

As I read scriptures, I read in Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) where it states “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” So me understanding that I am a part of the church as a whole (not the building, the body of people), I was able to relate and ask God for a man who would love me like He does. I sat down and began to write down all that Jesus is to me. Friend, Lover of my soul, patient, forgiving, etc. because these were the things that I deserved as a wife. It’s like when a woman who’s spoiled is taken care of by her dad as a child, teen, and so on. She wants a man that can do the same and more because if he can’t, she’ll just go back to her dad and he’ll provide. I have the love of Christ with me everyday of my life. Why would I want someone who wants to and chooses to love me less than that? My desire became to gain the love of Christ in my marriage, and I got just that.

I didn’t put a whole lot of physical demands out there, though I did figure that since Jesus walked around a lot, he had to be fit (LMBO), but I knew that God knew what I liked. So many times we think that when we just say “God I give up my desires for You”, He’s going to just give us mess in return… but God ain’t crazy. God knew I loved a killer smile and a nice back with some nice shoulders, and I got just that, along with a best friend and lover of my soul whose patient,¬†understanding and loves me for who I am. God knows you have to spend the rest of your life with this person. If someone is way out of your “type” or what you’re attracted to, He knows that would cause you to look and dream about someone else in bed at night. God is not slow nor is He crazy. He knows us backwards and forwards.

In conclusion:

  1. Stop asking for things that only one man in the world can possibly do.
  2. Stop asking for things that you yourself don’t possess. You can’t demand he have a nice car and you have a bike…
  3. Stop always focusing on wants. They can and will change like you do, and even when you get them, you’ll still want something more. But needs don’t change. When you get what you need, there’s a fulfillment involved.
  4. Understand that a man has to love you like Jesus loves you, or at least have the desire to learn to love you that way. Don’t go for someone who wants to love you in a mediocre way, making no sacrifices or changes. Jesus died for his bride the church. You deserve someone striving to mirror the love of Christ for you.
  5. God doesn’t take your desires and smash them to the ground. He just takes them, involves purpose and more of Him, and when they’re given back, they have a touch of what you love, mixed with more of your needs, your purpose and especially Him.

~The Mrs.

“Man vs. Woman” New Chronicles Addition!!

Hey Everyone!!

Now introducing a new addition to “Chronicles of a Young Wife”

Man vs. Woman

Check out the video below for more information and make sure you take the poll before the month is out.

Visit the website: http://frommiss2mrs1.wix.com/frommiss2mrs to vote!!

~The Mrs.

Tie a Tie For Your Husband/Boo Day

image

Yeah… I just made that up (lol) If your husband or boo is anything like mine, they like to have their tie a specific way. I know many of us struggle with how to tie ties for them… well impress him today ūüôā To the guys reading… try something new today with your look!! ~The Mrs.