SEE!! I always knew I love Dr. Seuss!!
One thing that took me a while to learn and grasp is that it was okay to be myself. Learning to be okay with being YOU is one of the hardest things we as a society have to deal with. We learn to hide certain parts of ourselves because we’re afraid. Afraid that people won’t like us or accept us or be our friends. We’re terrified to just be ourselves.
It reminds me of Adam and Eve in the garden. Before they ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, they were naked and didn’t know or care. But once they came into the knowledge of good and evil, they cared. I preached my first sermon about this tree and God revealed to me that this tree was wrong to eat from because in us it would produce death due to sin. This tree gave us the right the rationalize good vs. evil within our own minds. So now in society, we try to regulate and rationalize what’s good and evil, even within ourselves. We see someone who’s outgoing and fun, but we notice that those people get talked about and teased, so the outgoing and fun part of us stays hidden because we deem it better to hide who we really are than to be unafraid and unashamed of who we were made by God to be.
Some of us have been called to be a leader. But we see how leaders are treated and how leaders go through a lot of pain and turmoil, so we’d rather become a follower for the rest of our lives to avoid pain and hurt, not understanding that we’re quenching the very thing that defines who we are. We’re afraid to be who we are because life doesn’t always seem to show us the good side of revealing to everyone who we really are.
But how does that internally make us feel? I can speak from experience that I knew I was called to be more than just a singer. It began to eat away at me this past year and a half because all I was singing. Now for most musicians, that’s Heaven! But to me, I knew I was called to do so much more for the world and for God. I tried to make it work. I tried to like it. I made up excuses as to why I needed to stay… but NOTHING could sustain me. I was tired of being inside of a box I wanted to get out of… and the worst part was that I was the one who put me in there.
Stop placing yourself in a box that isn’t who you really are. Stop placing yourself in a box period. You don’t have to be confined to just one thing because you’re good at it, but you can explore the world around you with the gifts you’ve been given by God. You’re not really a party girl. You’re not really a sex fiend. That’s NOT YOU! But that’s where you’ve become most comfortable because when you tried to express who you really were, you were shut down and didn’t have as many friends. Now that you’re a drinker and smoker and party girl/guy, you have all the friends in the world who now love this made up you. This fake version of who you think you are, KNOWING you’re not.
It’s easier said than done to say “I’m going to be me, whether people like it or not.” It’s easier said than done to be yourself and not care about having friends or someone to “like” you. But why want to be a person that’s made up. It’s like having alter egos or different masks for different groups of people and setting. Why don’t you just want to be one person all around?
I went to counseling for about 3 months, and that was the first thing to come up was that I was wearing masks and that only 1 or 2 people knew the real me. The unapologetic me. Those two people were Jesus and my husband. He was the first one who I told my whole testimony to upfront on our first date. I decided that I needed to lay it all out there because I was growing to the point of being unashamed of who I was and what I went through because I was beginning to fall in love with me; mistakes and all. And after I revealed it all up front, he still chose to love me. Jesus was the same way. I decided one day that I needed to give my all to Him. I told Him my shortcomings, I told Him my sins, and I told Him what I still had urges to do. But He still told me He loved me and still continued to use me for His purpose.
To everyone else, I was wearing a mask. I had my church mask, my musician’s mask, my back-at-home mask, and my chill with friends mask. I would swipe them out depending on if I was at school, church, back in Detroit where I’m from, or whether I was hanging out with friends. No one knew what was behind the mask. No one knew ME. I was terrified to reveal myself because I had tried to different times to the different surroundings I was in. But everytime I did, I paid for it. Someone would look at me weird. No one would listen. People would laugh. So I stopped trying to be me and became what everyone wanted me to be.
But I got SICK AND TIRED OF IT. I wanted to be ALLYSON. I was tired of making other people happy just to be sad and feel alone, even surrounded by a bunch of people who loved the mask I put on. I was ready to be me, and I didn’t care about who’d stay or who’d go. Jesus had excepted me and I was cool.
Everyone’s not going to like YOU. That’s something we as a people have to accept. They hated Jesus… so why should you be so special? But YOU have to like You. You have to LOVE you. Those that are meant to be around YOU will be, and those that aren’t WON’T! And to them… we chuck the deuces… FAREAL (lol)
Be unapologetic about being the man or woman of God He’s created you to be. He don’t make mess. You have all those gifts and influences for reasons bigger than you can imagine. Be YOURSELF! And BE HAPPY being YOURSELF. You never know what being YOU will help do for others